


a different kind of the same light

by stonestars



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, and spoilers for caleb's backstory as far as astrid's existence, spoilers for c1 end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 13:51:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18447884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stonestars/pseuds/stonestars
Summary: Pike (and Grog) meets Astrid (and the Mighty Nein) and notices a glimmer in Astrid's eye when she tells them about Sarenrae.(aka: Astrid becomes a paladin of Sarenrae au)





	a different kind of the same light

**Author's Note:**

> This is entirely a self indulgent experience because one of my friends proposed paladin of Sarenrae Astrid and I imagined Pike being the person who taught her about Sarenrae and it just kind of happened from there. Who knows why Astrid was traveling with tm9 or what led up to them meeting Pike, but here's a snapshot of a conversation between them.

Pike is helping Astrid sew her new holy symbol into place.

 

Or, more like she’s watching and Astrid’s doing the sewing, because while Pike knows how to use a needle and thread, she also knows a task someone needs to do for themselves when she sees it.

 

It’s the small things, sometimes, that make all the difference when it comes to doing it yourself or having someone do it for you.

 

Astrid seems content to sit in silence with Pike in the soft magical light that she’d produced to sew by.

 

Pike is a little less content, possibly because she can hear everyone else a little ways away, making a commotion. She’s pretty sure she can hear a hearty laugh from Grog, made soft by the expanse of grass between them.

 

It was his idea, really, to come to WIldemount. Well, it was his idea to leave Tal’Dorei, she chose Wildemount because in the end it was the only place she could think of that was really free— with the exception of Tary’s hometown— of attachments and memories. The only place they could really be anonymous adventurers.

 

Not Pike and Grog of Vox Machina. Just Pike and Grog.

 

How it had been so easy to go from the two of them traveling alone to Pike sitting here, training a new Paladin of her goddess, she’s not really sure. She hadn’t expected it.

 

It was just that she and Grog had helped them out, and then Jester, one of their clerics, had excitedly asked her about who she was a cleric of, and then none of them had really heard of Sarenrae so Pike had had too explain, and…

 

And there had been a glimmer in Astrid’s eye that Pike hadn’t seen in a long time.

 

So she hadn’t been surprised when Astrid approached her with more questions, and maybe it had been natural for Pike to see something behind the way Astrid had turned the word ‘redemption’ over a few times like it meant more than just the definition.

 

Astrid’s interest in Sarenrae reminded her of a conversation she’d had… a long time ago, now. Her mind begins to wander to a place it hadn’t wandered in a while, to ‘what-if’s’ and unasked questions that she knows she’ll never find an answer to.

 

And Astrid seems to recognize something in the far-off look in Pike’s eyes, because suddenly there’s a pile of fabric being shoved into Pike’s lap as Astrid asks her a question about the stitches that she misses the first half of.

 

Pike blinks down at the heap of fabric, examining Astrid’s handiwork. “It’s perfect,” she says, not so much as a judgement of the quality of stitching, but because Astrid put time and care into it. She runs her finger along the stitching, her mind already on the stitching of the same symbol into Vax’s glove a long time ago. She sighs a little and hands the fabric back in Astrid’s direction.

 

Astrid gives her a curious glance. Pike meets Astrid’s gaze with a composure she learned how to put on a long time ago.

 

She really shouldn’t be surprised when Astrid sees through it, because she’s already gotten the impression that Astrid-- and all of the group she travels with, the Mighty Nein— had been through more than they let on.

 

Still, her heart twists a bit when Astrid takes the cloth back with a furrow of her brow and a careful “are you alright?”

 

Pike nods, reaching up to fidget with her own holy symbol. “Yeah,” she says. “I’m fine, I was just thinking.”

 

A tilt of Astrid’s head and her expression ask: ‘about?’

 

“Just…” Pike sighs softly. “About a friend of mine. Who was… thinking about becoming a paladin of Sarenrae. He… didn’t think much of all this.” She holds up her symbol with one hand and gestures to the bundle of cloth sitting in Astrid’s lap with the other. “At first. For a long time. But then I guess he started looking for something. And he thought he might find it in this, in learning from me.”

 

Pike suspects Astrid’s next question of “what happened to him?” is carefully chosen, and even though she expects it it still makes her look down.

 

“Oh, he ended up serving the Raven Queen,” she says, “not Sarenrae. He still became a paladin.” She looks up, now, eyes searching the night sky for nothing in particular. She loses herself in her thoughts for a moment and has to shake herself out of them. “But that’s not the point,” she continues, pushing herself up and dusting her hands off. “I’m getting caught up in old memories. The point is that he had a big heart and he knew when to use it. He didn’t always let it show, but it was always there. And he cared about all of us. And you make me think of him, a bit.”

 

She offers Astrid help standing, which is a little bit awkward as Astrid stands much taller than she does. They manage anyway.

 

“You’ve got a heart like that too, I think” Pike says, her gaze turning back to where everyone else is gathered. “I don’t want to sound like I’m lecturing you, because I’m not, because that would be boring and not worth either of our times, but… keep them all close. Something I learned from watching him is that our power might come from somewhere else, but that that—“ she points to the others, sitting around a campfire laughing and telling stories— “is why we use it. Is why we have it in the first place.”

 

The hand playing with her holy symbol moves upwards and her palm spreads out so it’s resting flat against her heart. She feels her heartbeat and thinks of Vax’s.


End file.
